End the Battle Between Siblings
Peace between siblings starts with your new approach. No more constant battles.
The Sibling Peace Plan
Rule 1: Stop Trying to Make Everything Equal
Fair doesn’t mean identical. Each child has different needs at different times.
Replace “equal” with “individual”:
• Give attention based on current need, not turns
• Different bedtimes for different ages
• Unique privileges for unique responsibilities
• Individual solutions for individual problems
Rule 2: Create Special Individual Time
Each child needs exclusive parent time every single day, even for 10 minutes.
Daily individual time ideas:
• Read one book together alone
• Take a walk around the block
• Do a puzzle while sibling naps
• Help with age-appropriate chores
• Share a special snack together
Rule 3: Teach Conflict Resolution Skills
Children need tools to solve problems without parent intervention.
The sibling problem-solving steps:
- Stop and take deep breaths
- Each person says how they feel
- Brainstorm solutions together
- Try the solution everyone agrees on
- Ask for parent help only if needed
Rule 4: Handle Hitting and Aggression Immediately
Physical aggression never gets ignored or explained away by age.
Your response to hitting:
• Separate children immediately
• Comfort injured child first
• Give aggressor time to calm down
• Discuss better choices when calm
• Practice gentle touches
Rule 5: Avoid Taking Sides
Stay neutral during conflicts. Your job is teaching skills, not determining winners.
Instead of investigating and judging:
• “I see two upset children”
• “You both seem frustrated”
• “Let’s work together to fix this”
• “What solutions might work for everyone?”
The Jealousy Reset Strategy
When your toddler acts out because of baby sibling:
Week 1: Increase individual attention
• 15 minutes of focused toddler time daily
• Include them in baby care when possible
• Praise helpful behaviors immediately
Week 2: Create toddler-only spaces
• Designated toys baby cannot reach
• Special activities during baby’s naptime
• Protected time for toddler friends
Week 3: Build the helper role
• “Big kid” jobs they can do
• Special responsibilities they can handle
• Recognition for being a good sibling
Common Sibling Fighting Triggers
• Hunger and tiredness (schedule regular snacks and rest)
• Boredom (rotate toys and plan activities)
• Competition for attention (ensure individual time)
• Developmental differences (adjust expectations)
• Lack of personal space (create separate areas)
When NOT to Intervene
Let siblings work it out when:
• No one is getting hurt
• Voices stay at normal levels
• They’re practicing problem-solving
• Both children seem engaged, not upset
Jump in when:
• Physical aggression starts
• One child is clearly overwhelmed
• Name-calling or mean words appear
• Someone asks for help
Quick Sibling Peace Makers
• Create “calm down” spaces for each child
• Use timer for toy sharing instead of forced sharing
• Play cooperative games that require teamwork
• Read books about sibling relationships together
• Model problem-solving in your own conflicts
Your Family’s Path to Sibling Peace
Sibling rivalry is normal. Constant fighting is not. Your children learn cooperation through your consistent guidance.
Strong sibling bonds develop when competition for your attention decreases.